Neal Medlyn is a long, tall Texan, noted entertainist, and reigning Mr. Lower East Side. He is currently performing is new show Manfinger or Neal Medlyn’s Manfinger at Collective Unconscious. Over pizza in the Financial District, he is interrogated by his friend and frequent collaborator, Rachel Shukert, for Culturebot.

Okay, first things first. Who are you wearing?

Hmmm. Let’s see. My shoes are Kangaroos. My pants are Dickies. Um, shirt, Kenneth Cole. My glasses are Dolce and Gabbanna. I get more expensive as you move up.

What’s your personal motto?

Well, it’s from Nina Hagen. “I know who I am and I am willing to declare myself to the world. I am a star.

Who inspires you, physically, emotionally, sartorially, and artistically?

Physically, as in whom I try to move like, Dick van Dyke. Emotionally. I have to think about that a little. Sartorially? Right now, it’s club girls. Last year it was serious women—women who want to be taken seriously. Artistically, probably Karen—Karen Finley. And Misty Martinez, and Lisa Carver. Those are the main ones.

What did you dream about last night?

Last night I dreamt I was introducing my dad to Lisa Carver and a couple of other people I know. They started talking about Iraq and they got into a fight. That made me really upset, because I felt like I had to stop it and I couldn’t figure out what to do—how to stop it. All my dreams are like that, anxiety dreams, where I feel like it’s up to me to stop something bad from happening and I can’t figure out how to do it.

Okay, here’s the James Lipton question. When you get to the gates of heaven, what would you like St. Peter to say to you?

I want him to lean in real close and whisper right in my ear: “You know you only got in here ‘cause you’re pretty.”