The Day of Reckoning (otherwise known as Election Day) is approaching fast. I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t want to be watching those election returns alone. Luckily, there are a plethora of events going on all over the city to ease your anxieties. We’ve compiled some of the most interesting ones below.

Side Note: Tonight is the last opportunity to make a donation to the DNC that will be used in this election. Even twenty bucks will help cleanse our secular house of government of the pollution that has defiled it over the past four years (to continue the biblical theme). Click here to make a donation. You can also sign up on the DNC web site to make phone calls to volunteers in swing states to ask them to sign up for “get out the vote” events in their area. And don’t forget to vote!

Joshua Fried at HERE

Joshua will be audio-processing U.S. Election results as they come in on
the radio, LIVE in New York City at HERE Arts Center, starting at
9:30pm, November 2, Election Night 2004.

For us U.S. voters, it may be a way to stay sane while still remaining
fairly up-to-the-minute.

Since this will be taking place at HERE’s cafe, you are encouraged to
drink, eat and mix with fellow humans while hearing strange
juxtapositions, quirky grooves and funny voices made out of real live
radio. And dig the world debut of The Musical Wheel–a giant control
knob made from an old steering wheel. He will be drumming on shoes
too, as usual, making those percussive radio bits dance.

Show time 9.30pm until….? (As if we’ll know anything by Nov.
3rd.)

HERE Arts Center Cafe
145 6th Ave (below spring)
Election Night, Nov. 2, 2004, 9.30pm until…?
$8
drinks and food all night!
http://www.here.org

Andy Borowitz’s Election Night Show

“Swiftian satirist,” political comic, CNN and NPR commentator, and author of “The Big Book of Shockers” and the fake news newsletter www.borowitzreport.com, Andy Borowitz hosts an election night show to beat all election night shows. Join Andy and friends as they talk politics and mock the election results in real time. No matter who wins, you don’t want to spend this night alone.

Andy will be joined by:

Jessi Klein (VH1’s Best Week Ever and comic blogger for CNN.com)
Dean Obeidallah (comic commentator, ABC News Now & co-founder of The Arab American Comedy Festival)
Christian Finnegan (Chappelle’s Show, VH1, Comedy Central Presents)
and more!

@ The Marquee
356 Bowery (between Great Jones and E. 4th)
Show time 8 pm, doors open at 7:30 pm
$5

Questions? Comments?
Call 212-664-2957

Election Night with Mike Daisy at Galapagos6pm-1am FREE

Free drinks if Kerry wins!

Watch the Election results at Galapagos Art Space! We have two huge screens that we’re going to project the results onto. Audience members are encouraged to drop their name in a hat for their chance to tell their favorite current political joke during breaks. Mike Daisey hosts the proceedings. No one goes home until the party is over! But mostly this is about the results — we have to work and desperately want to watch them come in, precinct by precinct, and we want to do it together with you.

Your host Mike Daisey’s monologues, including 21 Dog Years, All Stories Are Fiction, Wasting Your Breath and I Miss The Cold War, have been performed all over the world. His latest, The Ugly American, has received workshops at Manhattan Theatre Club, the Cape Cod Theatre Project, P.S. 122, and will receive full productions this spring at ACT Theatre in Seattle and at the Spoleto Festival in South Carolina. http://www.mikedaisey.com

70 North 6 Street
Brooklyn New York
11211
718.384.4586
http://www.galapagosartspace.com/

Missile Dick Chick Swinging States Victory Tour Benefit Party

With DJs and fabulous acts including Darlinda Just, Darlinda,
Mykronesia, and Vernita N’ Cognita. TV projections for watching the
returns. Electronic voting booth. Photo ops with the chicks. Red and
blue Jello shots. And much more, including brand new numbers by the
Missile Dick Chicks. Plus DJs, dancing, with special guest Filastine,
of the Infernal Noise Brigade.

The Patriot Room
Dick Shea’s
69 West 14th Street, northeast corner of 6th Avenue, Manhattan
9p; $10
http://www.mtv.com/chooseorlose/headlines/news.jhtml?id=1488703
http://www.missiledickchicks.net/news.html

Exit Poll Party at the Bowery Poetry Club

Live election results from all available sources on cable and the
internet will get mixed by VJ Missy Galore. See Bush and his cronies
professionally heckled by the comedy genius of Jeff Mac, Eric
Kirchberger, and Chuck Funk a la Mystery Science Theater 3000, while
the opening acts include Jollyship the Whizbang, the Fuzzies, the
by-now familiar Billionaires for Bush, poet Celena Glenn, legendary
raconteur Taylor Mead, and more. There will be live updates via phone
from battleground states, and if you bring proof that you voted, you
get 50 cent “Darth Nader” shots.

Bowery Poetry Club
308 Bowery, Manhattan
7p; $free
212 614 0505

The Moment of Truth after a Season of Lies at Crobar

With The Imagine Festival of Arts Issues & Ideas, Billionaires for
Bush, Democracy for NYC, DL21C, NYS Young Democrats, My Vote Will
Count, the Onion, People for the American Way,
FilmsToSeeBeforeYouVote.org, Music for America, the League of Pissed
off Voters, Theaters Against the War, Run Agianst Bush, SlamBush, Code
Pink, Driving Votes, Swing the State, Cosmopolity, Downtown For
Democracy, Greene Dragon, America Coming Together, and Axis of Eve.

Crobar
530 West 28th Street, between 10th and 11th avenues, Manhattan
9p-dawn; $5
RSVP to http://www.augustmagic.net/eleventwo/ to guarantee admission
212 629 9000