Over the holiday Culturebot took a brief respite from his duties as cultural man-about-town. Never fear, though, we will soon be back at our fighting weight as our legions of spies are hard at work crafting insightful analyses of arts both high and low.

In the meantime, as we embark on what should prove to be an exciting summer, your humble editor would like to offer a few thoughts on things “new.” As you may have noticed, the world is constantly in flux, and we have taken the time to jot down a few of the major changes that are afoot. Take note and take heed.

August, it’s the new September.

Well, it used to be that all the seasons (TV, Theater, School) started in September. But for many reasons nothing can really start until about September 20th. So everything’s been moved back to August. For instance, the new cultural season will start with the HOWL Festival in mid-August, followed by the Imagine04 Festival in August/September, coinciding with the Republican National Convention (which might well be called hunting season). So be prepared and take your vacation early!

Thursday, it’s the new Saturday.

Well, everyone below 14th Street has known this for a while, but new arrivals take heed. Saturday night is for amateurs. You should be out on Thursday night. And real pros are out on Monday night, since they’re working the rest of the week.

Fat, it’s the new smoking

Now that smoking has been fairly vanquished as Public Enemy #1, we need a new villain… and the winner is FAT! I can’t say I disagree, but Fat is just not as sexy a transgression as smoking.

Ponchos, they’re the new pashmina.

Personally, I think it’s a BIG mistake. Culturebot much prefers the elegance of a wrapped shawl to the unwieldiness of the poncho. But the floodgates have been opened and there is no turning back.

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These are just a few of the things that are new. Keep on the lookout for more in our ever-changing cultural landscape. Oh yeah.