Ivan Jacks� Super Sunday

“Generation Z was born into the richest economy in the history of the world. They were born rich and powerful, the certified aristocrats of a new and amazing century.”
-Hunter S. Thompson

“Life at 20 [Z] years of age, the will reigns; at 30 [Y] the wit; at 40 [X] the judgment.”
-Benjamin Franklin

I have to admit it was a pussy thing to do. But I told him not to let that kid smoke drugs. I have a pretty good right hook and he didn’t see it coming. He threw up and then we said goodnight to our polluted hosts as he also promised to aid me in writing about the Super Bowl.

At home we talked about how this was the last year for Jerome “The Bus” Bettis who has played for the Steelers for the last ten years. We Googled the spread which favors the Seahawks by about four points. Also tried to figure out if Hunter S. Thompson was chilling with former Raider’s Center Barret Robbins when he ate all that LSD in TJ and missed the Big Game. Personally, I’ll pick up prostitutes with Eugene Robinson before I smoke crack with Stanley Wilson. But that’s just me.

Then my partner in crime was faded from too much Dilaudid. And I am now left to my own devices.

As Jack Daniels™ pointed out in Where In Blogosphere is Ivan B ??? I am “clearly disconnected from the sports world” True that. But I would rather be connected to a world that means something. Perhaps this is the big fear for Generation Z . . . that they have meaning. We are coming up on the anniversary of Hunter’s suicide, oddly the same day as my own Birthday. If I channel his ghost maybe I can get back into the next gen’s political pants. It’s not an easy task considering they are wirelessly hardwired to their iPods. On a perpetual Srping Break and unplugged from the repercussions of what it means to be an American Citizen.

It is with this same obliviousness that Jack Daniels™ moves to her new apartment in the East Village. Gwaker does a much better rip on the gentrification thereof. The same goes for Park Slope, Billyburg, the LES, Chelsea, Clinton, Hell’s Kitchen as well as Black and Puerto Rican Harlem. Pretty soon the five boroughs will look just like Paris. You think all this anti-French Freedom Fries bullshit is just arbitrary Xenophobia? Ho Ho the Godfather of Gonzo echoes from the grave. The NeoCons don’t want you to see the violent civil unrest stemming from the Islamic banlieue. Just as you don’t want to hear that the children of Tibet are about to take on the anti-terrorist model which we taught Bin Laden, Sharon perfected and we perpetuated in Bagram and Abu Gharib. Jack Daniels™ and her bull cock eating pals know the score of the Rose Bowl . . . but do you know the vote breakdown to extend the Patriot Act? 95 to 1. And you are the future of Law? Cucullus non facit Monachum.

But have fun today at 6:04PM along with the millions who will scream, drink and tailgate to our media saturated spin on the Coliseum. There is a reason why they give the games Roman numerals. It’s because they want you to be unplugged from the real Warriors. They’re just characters on a video game as it is now practically illegal to show their coffins on TV.

I have a bet for you Jack™, seeing how misrepresentation of yourself is the highest form of degradation. If we win the war in Iraq (meaning that, if it ever ends, we as a Nation don’t feel it wasn’t a gross miscalculation akin to Vietnam) I will register myself as a Libertarian and go to the voting booth in pumps. If we lose, you have to wear a burka for a day.

Or better yet why don’t you and your homies at Brooklyn Law take a break from the Sports Bar and figure out how we can stop the war on Iran. This would mean a lot more to me than your faux-condolences for my Grandmother who died in Tehran last week.

All my love to you MorMor. If I get to heaven we will have a nice eternal game of Backgammon. Now there’s a game!