Three Things to See in NYC with Ivan B

The Muses have left the building . . . Jesse J is cranky because I outted him online, Jack™ has finally gone fully to other side never to be heard from again and the play I am doing is driving the participants insane. Oh yeah, I’ve fallen in love with an alcoholic nymphomaniac yoga instructor. So nothing has changed. At least Rocky isn’t calling the Divorcee anymore. Girl, you better don’t!

Even on the floors of bars in Chi-town and naked in the fields of Iowa where I think I am safe from New York, I find myself wishing I could see the following three shows below . . . So tie one on, cause a problem at the box office and drunk dial a couple of people you shouldn’t. Like your mom. And think of Ivan. Think of Ivan giving your mom a sponge bath. Yeah. Yeah. Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah.

(If John Champion keeps moving forward with this piece, he might be the next polluted Hetro-Hedwig (Oh yeah, if JCM or Johnny O or B catch this . . . I miss you guys. Call a bitch, will ya???))

Knockout Drops:
escape from bellevue & other stories…

December 2 – February 25
Fridays and Saturdays @ 10 pm
Thursdays @ 9 pm
at The Paradise Factory Theater in New York City
(Sam Gold is the last of my Tribe from the Yard. He’s going out with a bang though. No offense Homie, but I’d have given my right lung to see Garland’s version before the Winston 100’s Angel of Death took him from us. And if you can’t get a career after this coming out party then maybe its time to reconsider. Props to the Lost Mellons! Posse move ahead!!!)

Edward II by Marlowe
Directed by Sam Gold
Set: Andrew Lieberman/Lights: Ben Stanton/ Costumes: Olivera Gajic/ Sound: Eric Shim

The Juilliard Centennial Season
featuring members of the graduating class
For reservations call: 212.799.5000 ext. 654
Juilliard Drama Theater, 4th Floor
60 Lincoln Center Plaza
Free and open to the public.

Sat 2/18 8PM
Sun 2/19 7PM
Mon 2/20 8PM
Tues 2/21 8PM
Wed 2/22 8PM
Thurs 2/23 8PM

*Please note there is a Monday night performance

Edward II ON TOUR:
If you cannot catch Edward II in New York

Los Angeles:
Red Cat Theater March 7th and 8th at 8pm

Museum of Contemporary Art March 21st at 7:30pm and
March 22nd at 2pm
(Last but least are the Fags from Creation Nation. These guys are the real deal . . . they make Kids in the Hall look tepid. Like a Big Mac, or sex with the Ex, it’s so good yet you feel so dirty after. And read their SPAM below on Dick the Mighty Hunter of 78-year old Republicans and other Fowl. Don’t blame me when you see their stuff and wet yourself.)

Before we get to our usual show announcement…

An Urgent Message from the President of Creation

As God once again curses us with snow, an avalanche of Dick Cheney hunting
jokes seems destined to begin. It is at this time, however, that Creation
Nation wishes to lend support to our beleaguered Vice President. All jokes
aside, as we all know, sometimes it can be very difficult to tell the
difference between a person and a bird. Sure, you say, one has feathers. But
which one?

Once I walked into my kitchen and I thought “Why is that pigeon drinking all
of my soda?” But it turned out it wasn’t a pigeon, it was my roommate Robin.
So I shot him. I mean, think about it- if you turn around, and you’re not
sure what’s behind you, but you think it might be a bird, you shoot the
bitch dead! After
all, isn’t a bird just an asshole with wings?

Seriously though, at this point, on behalf of the administration, I would
like to apologize to the people of Iraq. It was our fault. We thought you
were a bird.

And to the victims of Katrina, allow me to say I’m sorry. We thought you
were all just birds.

And to gays and lesbians who would like equal rights, again, my condolences.
We thought you were all just some faggot ass birds.

And to those of you who did not wish to receive this email, please forgive
me. I saw that your address was and I got so confused.

Finally, we also apologize to Nelly Furtado. She sang “I’m Like A Bird”. And
she will be missed.

Talk Soon, Sincerefully, and with Best Thanks, And again, talk soon, the
President of Creation Nation, Billy “Maya Angelou” Willing

Creation Nation: We Thought You Were a Bird
Saturday, Feb 25th at 10pm and
Wednesday March 1st at 8pm
LIVE @ the Ars Nova Theater
511 West 54th Street, just west of 10th Avenue
Reservations Strongly Recommended
These shows will sell out!

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